Used to Be

I used to be a banker, but now I am a piggy.

I used to be a politician, but now I could use some change.

I used to be a cantaloupe, but now I am a salad.

I used to be a danish, but now I am waste.

I used to be plastic, but now I am a chair.

I used to be a loner, but now I have a family.

I used to be an epic paladin, but now I am a non-player character.

I used to be happy, but now I am in love.

I used to be a newt, but I got better.

I used to be the worst pirate you ever heard of, but now you’ve heard of me.

I used to worry about the police, but now I sleep on a bunk under a big black man named Bubba.

I used to be dark and brooding, but now I am bitter and cynical.